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Thread: When do you turn on your outside Christmas lights? … and …

  1. #1
    Banned Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel Grendel's Avatar
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    When do you turn on your outside Christmas lights? … and …

    How long do you keep them lit? Also, do you have multicolored lights or white lights? Do you put your lights in the trees or bushes? How do you decorate your house for Christmas?

    I usually turn the lights on after Thanksgiving and leave them on until the 12th day of Christmas--Epiphany, which also happens to be my sister's birthday.

  2. #2
    asshat juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? juz's Avatar
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    you mean were supposed to turn them off?









    come on first weekend of Dec, go off Jan 1

  3. #3
    Seleccion Suprema No. 1 Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo Shaggy Gold Club Macanudo's Avatar
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    In honor of wide....


    After much deliberation, I will reluctantly tell the story of my family touring the Christmas lights in Waco last week.

    My wife told me about this thing at the beginning of December. To be honest I had forgotten all about it until the night before. I did not want to go. Call me a scrooge but riding around looking at electricity captured in colored bulbs is not my idea of entertainment. However, the kids were looking forward to it and apparently at some point I had agreed to do it.

    This little tour got us for 6 bucks a head. My wife, her parents, our 4 kids and I all went. Now I wasn’t a math major but that’s $48 to ride around in a trolley and look at lights. WTF? (I found this out the day of)

    So we drive all the way the hell to downtown Waco and sit and wait for this trolley to take us on the tour. They’ve got a tree, Santa, hot cocoa…all that $#@!. Finally all the trolleys roll up and Shaquandra our official Christmas lights tour guide hops out and says “Y’all goin’ to look at the lights?....(pause) Okay ‘den let’s get our roll on”

    My initial gripe is that the bitch is driving at mach speed and you can’t see $#@! but a blurry-ass Santa and the occasional Wal-Mart $9.99 wire light-up reindeer. My father-in-law asks if she could slow down a bit so that we could take pictures and appreciate the lights a little more..(his words not mine). By this time I’ve already leaned over and whispered in my wife’s ear “ $48 for this $#@!?” ….she’s gives me the obligatory elbow and “stop being like that”.

    We roll along for about 15 minutes looking at every tacky piece of $#@! overkill light extravaganza in East Waco. Suddenly we get on the highway and start heading to the other side of town. We ride for a good 12-15 minutes without seeing a single damn house decorated. So I lean over to the wife again and say “umm where the hell are we going?”.
    Elbow “shut up” and all that again. Shaquandra has Mariah Carey’s Christmas cd blasting and we’re just “gettin’ our roll on”. ……………………..and then it happened.

    Signs and streets started to look really familiar. My oldest daughter says “hey there’s HEB.” As in the HEB right down the road from our house (approx. 1/2 mile)
    I lean over to the wife again….”This bitch better not turn right at this light”
    What does the driver do????? That’s right folks…$#@!ing turns right and heads right to our neighborhood. Not only our neighborhood…BUT OUR $#@!ING STREET!!
    I am just at a loss for words by this point. I cannot believe this is happening. Street after street, house after house for a good 30 minutes. The driver is going on and on about “oooh like over thurr…look at the Santa up on the roof kids”…….I know bitch …I'M THE ONE THAT $#@!ING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK.

    I can’t type this anymore…it’s just too painful. The point is….

    We spent almost $50 to look at the Christmas lights in our own damn neighborhood. My wife just hung her head in shame. I’ll be in charge of Christmas spirit next year thank you very much.

  4. #4
    asshat crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski Shaggy Gold Club crackamacgowski's Avatar
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    No lights of any kind for us.

  5. #5
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    my new tradition is that the holiday season doesn't begin until I read wide's xmas light tour horror story. thanks for re-posting, Mac.

    lights go on Thanksgiving, off on New Year's day.

  6. #6
    asshat Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian slams and goes hard. Xian's Avatar
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    umm m

  7. #7
    All white, unless the large bulbed multicolored lights are used in bushes or such. None of that icicle or net-light bull$#@!, either. We keep it classy. A lot of trunk wrapping goes on (no homo), but we mostly do indoor decorations.

    They go up after Thanksgiving and come down before New Years. Gotta use a timer so that $#@! shuts off after midnight or so... energy is pricey these days.
    Last edited by Methuselah; 11-27-2010 at 04:19 AM.

  8. #8
    Multi-colored for us. They'll go up today and come down as soon as possible after Christmas. In no event will they be lit after Christmas day.

  9. #9
    asshat tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club
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    on yesterday, off after bowl games, Jan 10th-ish. all white, no colors. you can say it

  10. #10
    bunghole Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch slams and goes hard. Str3tch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Methuselah View Post
    All white, unless the large bulbed multicolored lights are used in bushes or such. None of that icicle or net-light bull$#@!, either. We keep it classy. A lot of trunk wrapping goes on (no homo), but we mostly do indoor decorations.

    They go up after Thanksgiving and come down before New Years. Gotta use a timer so that $#@! shuts off after midnight or so... energy is pricey these days.
    This man speaks the truth. I do it the same exact way.

  11. #11
    asshat Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn grows his own roses Native Horn's Avatar
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    I use clear C-9 bulbs along the front roof line. The neighbors know I am chicken$#@! about heights, so they usually pull out their lawn chairs and beers to watch me. I really appreciate their understanding. I'll be doing this today if you want to stop by. BYOB.

    The lights stay on until January 1st.

  12. #12
    Space Cadet RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO's Avatar
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    Full Clark-W-Griswold-mode for us... the wife loves it, and the neighborhood little kids think I'm the coolest guy ever (no Pedobear).

    But yes - have one massive timer that runs it all...

    I've replaced the gawd-awful LED icicles (light was too blue) with the conventional ones (more white light), but this is last year's effort:



    I haven't finished this year yet (just started yesterday to answer your other question - they go up the day after T'giving and come down the weekend after New Year's).

    HOWEVER... LawnBevo™ will be getting two new additions (and retiring the now very old and overdone lighted deer)... a large "Hook 'em Santa" (done in orange and white lights) and a large outlined state of Texas with "Merry Christmas Y'all".



    I'll repost the updated pictures over in the Christmas Lights Thread when I get the two "extras".

    For those who don't like it... look at my face. Do I care?

    My wife does... she trumps all of you a$$holes!

  13. #13
    Oh, and the number one rule of Christmas is... don't mix LEDs and incandescents. It's akin to not crossing the streams.

  14. #14
    asshat judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag GORN judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    I live in the woods so no lights for us, except the kids can decorate their rooms if they want. I do have a mercury vapor light at the barn that puts off a nice poisonous glow.

  15. #15
    asshat MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. MyQuick=FrenchToast's Avatar
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    Glad no one has mentioned those awful blow-up, lit-up Santas and such. I hate those.

    My balcony has twinkling red lights and icicle lights. Not too many decorations, but still festive. Oh, and when I was growing up, we put the lights up the day after Thanksgiving ($#@! Black Friday) and left them on till New Years Day.

  16. #16
    asshat hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. hopkinsnhorns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crackamacgowski View Post
    No lights of any kind for us.
    $#@!in terrorist....

  17. #17
    Bah Humbug!

  18. #18
    asshat Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo's Avatar
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    I'm Tapatalking up in this bitch on an iPhone!

  19. #19
    asshat Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Surly Bevo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MyQuick=FrenchToast View Post
    Glad no one has mentioned those awful blow-up, lit-up Santas and such. I hate those.

    My balcony has twinkling red lights and icicle lights. Not too many decorations, but still festive. Oh, and when I was growing up, we put the lights up the day after Thanksgiving ($#@! Black Friday) and left them on till New Years Day.
    I got the blow up Santa and Snowman. The kids dig it.


    I'm Tapatalking up in this bitch on an iPhone!

  20. #20
    asshat USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. USAOROTC's Avatar
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    Lights go up tomorrow(Sunday after Thanksgiing).. stay up till New Years Day.. We go multicolored.. Turn them on a dark, unplug them around two (or when I ewake up to take a leak)
    Last edited by USAOROTC; 11-28-2010 at 03:10 AM.

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by RamjetFDO View Post
    I've replaced the gawd-awful LED icicles
    if you're just going to throw them out, I'll take 'em!

  22. #22
    asshat dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. dfwtexex's Avatar
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    Usually up the first weekend in December. Off and down the first weekend after Christmas.

    And, this is the year we won the light contest in our historic neighborhood with a Disco Christmas theme. We had a bunch of people dancing on the porch and gave shots of Nocello to the judges as they came by. Yes, we're gay.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXmZKcVBs3k

  23. #23
    I will not turn on my x-mas lights until we win a football game.

  24. #24
    Space Cadet RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gecko View Post
    I will not turn on my x-mas lights until we win a football game.
    2. ??
    3. Profit!

  25. #25
    asshat tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macanudo View Post
    In honor of wide....


    After much deliberation, I will reluctantly tell the story of my family touring the Christmas lights in Waco last week.

    My wife told me about this thing at the beginning of December. To be honest I had forgotten all about it until the night before. I did not want to go. Call me a scrooge but riding around looking at electricity captured in colored bulbs is not my idea of entertainment. However, the kids were looking forward to it and apparently at some point I had agreed to do it.

    This little tour got us for 6 bucks a head. My wife, her parents, our 4 kids and I all went. Now I wasn’t a math major but that’s $48 to ride around in a trolley and look at lights. WTF? (I found this out the day of)

    So we drive all the way the hell to downtown Waco and sit and wait for this trolley to take us on the tour. They’ve got a tree, Santa, hot cocoa…all that $#@!. Finally all the trolleys roll up and Shaquandra our official Christmas lights tour guide hops out and says “Y’all goin’ to look at the lights?....(pause) Okay ‘den let’s get our roll on”

    My initial gripe is that the bitch is driving at mach speed and you can’t see $#@! but a blurry-ass Santa and the occasional Wal-Mart $9.99 wire light-up reindeer. My father-in-law asks if she could slow down a bit so that we could take pictures and appreciate the lights a little more..(his words not mine). By this time I’ve already leaned over and whispered in my wife’s ear “ $48 for this $#@!?” ….she’s gives me the obligatory elbow and “stop being like that”.

    We roll along for about 15 minutes looking at every tacky piece of $#@! overkill light extravaganza in East Waco. Suddenly we get on the highway and start heading to the other side of town. We ride for a good 12-15 minutes without seeing a single damn house decorated. So I lean over to the wife again and say “umm where the hell are we going?”.
    Elbow “shut up” and all that again. Shaquandra has Mariah Carey’s Christmas cd blasting and we’re just “gettin’ our roll on”. ……………………..and then it happened.

    Signs and streets started to look really familiar. My oldest daughter says “hey there’s HEB.” As in the HEB right down the road from our house (approx. 1/2 mile)
    I lean over to the wife again….”This bitch better not turn right at this light”
    What does the driver do????? That’s right folks…$#@!ing turns right and heads right to our neighborhood. Not only our neighborhood…BUT OUR $#@!ING STREET!!
    I am just at a loss for words by this point. I cannot believe this is happening. Street after street, house after house for a good 30 minutes. The driver is going on and on about “oooh like over thurr…look at the Santa up on the roof kids”…….I know bitch …I'M THE ONE THAT $#@!ING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK.

    I can’t type this anymore…it’s just too painful. The point is….

    We spent almost $50 to look at the Christmas lights in our own damn neighborhood. My wife just hung her head in shame. I’ll be in charge of Christmas spirit next year thank you very much.
    that is the greatest story ever told on the shag, holy $#@! that's greatness right there.

  26. #26
    agreed, the wide-e story is epic. no shame in posting that sort of failure as we've all experienced it in one way or another.

  27. #27
    Freida's Boss DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN grows his own roses DCA_HORN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tropheus View Post
    that is the greatest story ever told on the shag, holy $#@! that's greatness right there.
    There's no way this is your first time reading that. Predates the shag by years.

  28. #28
    asshat jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? jmatt's Avatar
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    Mine always go up the weekend after Thanksgiving, and stay lit until New Year's Day. Multicolored.

  29. #29
    asshat tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club tropheus Shaggy Gold Club
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCA_HORN View Post
    There's no way this is your first time reading that. Predates the shag by years.
    I don't remember it, but as retread here it is still one of the finest.

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